Sorry for the radio silence over here. I'm on day 9 of an 11 day nutritional cleanse and it has literally and figuratively BROUGHT.ME.TO.MY.KNEES. One of the unexpected side effects of this 'cleansing' is that I have very little to no creative drive and that elusive thing called 'mental clarity'?? Yeah, none of that either. Big fat boo is all I gotta say about that. :-( For a person who really needs and craves a creative outlet on a daily basis, this is saying A LOT about where I am right now. Even though I know it's temporary, it also saddens me because I derive so much joy from documenting life with my camera. While I'm still in the midst of this cleansing wilderness of sorts, I wanted to jot down a few of my jumbled thoughts, lest I forget them once I've gotten some time and a very comfortable distance away from the discomfort and difficulty of this experience.
1. I have a fuller understanding and deeper compassion for the issue of hunger. I have worked through some significant and prolonged hunger in this cleanse and it has been very destabilizing for me. I have already begun to explore some ways that I can use this increased awareness to reduce hunger in my own community. Baby Step Number One: This Sunday, my family and I will join a group of friends to glean for food that's left behind in the fields after the harvest. All gleaned food will be donated to the Larimer County Food Bank. Baby Step Number Two: Join the fight against hunger by contributing in multiple ways to the Cans Around the Oval project:
2. I have a renewed appreciation for the abundance of food we all enjoy. The ugly truth of the matter is that I have been eating way too much food and truly appreciating and savoring far too little of it. I intend to be more mindful about this part of my life from here on out.
3. I have been struggling with a CRAZY complexity of emotions throughout this process. I've discovered that I'm more weak and vulnerable than I previously thought and yet I'm also paradoxically more capable and courageous than I ever thought possible. In one moment, I can be filled with an all-consuming self-doubt and in the next, I can have complete resolve about this challenge. I don't expect any of this to make sense. It's a messy and complex jumble of feelings and it's been like that pretty much every moment of the last nine days. Sounds like fun, no??
4. I embarked on this cleanse with a team of 3 of the most amazing women that I know: my mom, my aunt and my cousin (a.k.a 'Beth's Babes'). We intentionally named our team after the strongest woman we all know and come from: my maternal grandmother. I believe she's proud of us and I hope she is smiling down on us in the midst of this and hopefully having a good chuckle at our expense as well because we are ... well, how do I say this?? Um, let's just say ... flat out CRAZY for taking this on! These fabulous relatives of mine have been my rock and they are the ONLY reason I'm still in the game (and not in the looney bin!) on Day 9 out of 11. The most redeeming thing about this whole journey has been the reconnection, relationship-building and community that I have found in the three of them. In a word, priceless. Mum, Robyn & Farah ... thank you from the bottom of my cleansing heart for being the very bestest traveling companions a girl could ask for and, oh yeah, another thing?? NEVER let me talk you into this again, k?!? Two of the toughest days lie ahead of us. Somehow, we will overcome. Love and prayers to my little cleansing tribe!!
See the rest of you on the flip side with a full belly, a more functional brain and a much lighter take on life. Can hardly wait to be sharing beautiful images and coherent thoughts with 'all y'all' again soon! :-)